I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
