How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
