You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
