We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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