Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
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there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
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The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?