I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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