dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert