i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow