You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
