She said her name was "party"
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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