I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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