Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
