i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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