He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
