is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize