i need an iv and a liver transplant
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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