Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
third nipple confirmed
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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