So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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