have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
