a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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