Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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