We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
