Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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