That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
