I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
