i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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