im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
