just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
