i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
