So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
