I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Welp...herpes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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