She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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