The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
