Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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