I wish you could order shots online.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't deserve a penis
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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