I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
