She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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