ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
