Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
