you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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