so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
