you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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