At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
organizing the empties. That sober.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
