I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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