i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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