There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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