I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think I won the penis lottery.
i was born a porn star she said
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
