i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
