We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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