I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
