i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?