She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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