My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
