i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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