David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
