There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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