I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dignity is for republicans.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
