i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
