Where is the hickey?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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