kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im holly from the hills drunk
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
