I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
