he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
