We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
