Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
