"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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