Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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