I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
