You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
