Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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